Positive Thinking Is Not The Answer


There is too much positive thinking. Let me explain what I mean. People are using affirmations to try to get through their day. But that is like constantly using a muscle at the gym, eventually it will tire. Then you are back to square one, or worse still you are even be more disillusioned. As you’ve tried something and you’ve failed yet again.

So why are you making the affirmations in the first place? To fix a problem? To get more success? Why not fix the thing that is getting in your way? So how do you do that? Instead of pushing down your feelings and emotions with positive affirmations why not address what your subconscious is trying to bring to the forefront.

One of the rules of the mind is, it is there to protect you. In primitive times when there was imminent danger your body would go into ‘Fight or Flight’ mode. Anxiety or worry is the body’s way of helping, from getting you ready to flight, or flight from a ‘lion’ or some real danger. Your mind is telling you to run or fight. It is no different today. With frustration, fear or anger it’s your minds way of telling you something is wrong.

Don’t Ignore Your Feelings By Replacing Them With Positive Affirmations

By ignoring feeling you are achieving nothing. In fact you can be causing more damage to yourself by not acknowledging your feelings. Remember something might not necessarily be wrong, you just might need to adjust something.

This is important because you don’t need to throw out the baby with the bath water. You could just need to tweak your thinking. The subconscious mind will nudge you and alert you something needs changing, like a good friend making suggestions. And this is why this exercise I am going to show you is important. And use it before a before your stress levels are up or you can’t see the woods for the trees. Man writing I’m saying that because a sometimes people will only change when they really have to. But if we take stock of those little niggles, and tune into ourselves we can avert difficulties. The more you connect with your subconscious mind the more it will lead you to realise what you need to do for you. Think about the times when you followed your intuition and everything went swimmingly.

This can happen continuously if you connect with the subconscious more frequently. It is like having a relationship with yourself. The more you listen to you and work with that, the better the relationship is. The more you listen to you, the easier life becomes.

How To Unlock What is Stopping You—A Simple Exercise

So how do you know what needs changing? One way of unearthing limiting beliefs is by allowing your subconscious to come through. What do I mean by that? Well your conscious mind is usually busy chattering away;

  • telling you what to do,
  • wondering what you are having for dinner,
  • cursing someone who is double parked,
  • or chastising yourself for not completing something or
  • eating the right food.

It’s consistently with you, often in your face, rather than working with you. The subconscious is where you store all your ideas and beliefs about yourself, often formed in your earlier years. So this is what you want to access and understand.

Accessing What Is Getting In Your Way Without Therapy

So how do you access the subconscious? Well you have to shut down that conscious mind—to access your subconscious. So here is a way that you can do that.

I want you to write down the perceived problem on a piece of paper. E.g. ‘I can’t make any money out of what I love doing.’

Now here is the trick. I want you to write down the first thing that pops into your mind.

With no judgement.

That is the key. No judgement.

If you start analysing what is on your mind before you write it down you will not benefit from this exercise. Remember this is not about positive thinking. This is about your allowing your true thinking and feelings to surface. Warts and all. By allowing yourself to do this, you will unlock the limiting belief or the thing that needs to change. So don’t cheat yourself on this. Again.

Write down the perceived problem, then write down what immediately comes into your head. With no judgement. It’s like automatic writing.

Let me give you an example. More recently I had a client do the above exercise as they were frustrated with their work circumstances. In their workplace, they were asked to implement something the majority of the business didn’t want. She felt it wasn’t the right decision either. Yet she still had to follow what was requested of her. She completed the exercise and got the following;

  1. Let it go
  2. Stop trying
  3. Let them do it

She was slightly confused by this, but realised it was the frustration they needed to let go as it wasn’t their decision to implement the ideas. So they took that emotion out of it.  She let go.

My client also suggested to her boss a different strategy, and realised that was all she could do in the situation in essence she did what she could but realised it was not in her control. She stopped trying, as she had done what was required. You gotta know when to stop.

She also realised that if the business did what they wanted, it meant she had less of the things she didn’t want to do, and more of what she did want to do. So it was win, win. So let them do it.

In discussion with the client about the above. There was conflict in regards to; the establishment wanted one thing and the actual customer wanted something else. So the client felt stuck in the middle. So letting go initially didn’t feel like an answer, as she still had to carry out the requested tasked. However, she took the emotion out of what she was doing, As it was the emotion causing the conflict, by doing this she freed herself from frustration.

My client offered a different solution to her bosses and accepted there was little more she could do to resolve the situation. Sometimes it is not about you. Letting the facts speak for themselves is better than rallying against something. And this is so important in this exercise. Really, how good can you be about taking the emotion out of what comes up? Allowing what is true to surface for you.

If this exercise is not working for you, if you aren’t either getting to the;

  1. Solution
  2. Or getting a plan of what to do

Then maybe you aren’t writing exactly what is popping up for you. It might sound crazy or off beat at first what comes up, but just write it down. If you are honest with you, you will see what is getting in the way. So if you are tiring of positive thinking and affirmations and want to get to the root cause of what is bugging you, try it… what do you have to lose.

This exercise gives you a simple, non confrontational way to access what you really think and believe. No-one else can do that as well as you.